Thursday, April 30, 2015

Saying good-bye

Jannella Faye Luttrell 3-25-40 to 2-22-15  

First of let me say that I am sorry that I have been missing for so long. As the title hints at I have had to say good-bye to my momma.The above picture was taken some time last April. We (siblings) were finally given a diagnosis on what was really making her so ill about 10 days prior to her passing away. The small lung masses that we were assured of as being nothing to worry over ,should have been of great concern.They were indeed lung cancer and had already taken her right rib cage ,right kidney, spread  down into her abdomen and pelvic region invading her bones everywhere.By that time the cancer had also spread to the outside of her body. As a testimony to my momma's strength and will power she fought to the very  end.My mom had been told that she had kidney failure and should refrain from pain medications like tylenol ,ibuprofen and such.Up until the time of her last ER visit ( where we were given the dianosis) she would be in obvious pain but would not take beyond one tylenol  per day. My sister and I would practically beg her to take another one and she would say she did not want to make the kidney failure worse. Her last week was spent mainly in screams as the medication was not able to control her pain.

My momma was more than a mother she was my best friend.She taught  me how to  become the mother I am today as well as how to be  a loving wife to my husband. She was a quiet,reserved woman whose main objective was to see that her family had the best life could offer them.Her family was her world and she touched each of us in so many wonderful ways. I can not really think of anything that momma ever tried to do that she could not succeed  at. Momma may not have had all the material things in life to offer us but she gave us the greatest gift of all ...her love.She taught her children that in order to succeed you had to believe in what you were trying and that patience and love always wins out.She loved sewing,houseplants and grew some of the most amazing vegetable gardens. She was a light in a sometimes dark world.

I am trying to pull myself back into the day to day living of life .It is my plan to begin to visit the your blogs again soon.Life is slowly getting back to a routine,it is by no means normal.I guess as with all things I just have to come up with a new "normal" for me.In my lifetime there had only been a handful of days that I had not spent time with my momma. I was  greatly blessed to continue to live next to my parents after I was married..! Life continues though and with God's blessings my grief will pass and I will be able to rejoice in my wonderful memories of momma and daddy. Rest in peace Momma

I am going to close now for I am sure I have rambled way to long.I just wanted to let you all know that soon I will be back to visiting.Prayers and hugs,Jen