Monday, August 1, 2011

A Birthday Wish and Memories

August  is here already and I am wondering what happened to  July . Wow ,where does time go anymore? I warn you that this is a long post and may be a tad rambling.Today is a bittersweet day for me ,it would have been Daddy's 76th  birthday . Three years ago today, we were told that daddy would not see another birthday as he had a malignant brain tumor  located in the center of his brain.We were shocked and saddened by the news.We had noticed  that in the weeks prior to this diagnosis  that he had not been himself. I was washing dishes and looked out my  kitchen window to see Daddy  face down in a row of green beans.His legs were sticking up in the air and that was all I could see, scared me silly !This was the first evidence that something was off with him.No amount of pleading would get him to go and be checked out by his doctor. On Wednesday of the following week (from his first fall) Daddy fell in the bathroom and cut his arm deeply and we finally convinced him that he had to go to the ER  ...this was after telling him that I would not stitch his arm.Then on Friday we were told the awful news,Daddy was never aware what was wrong... he thought that he had just got to hot . He passed away on Wednesday morning so we had 6 1/2 days with him before his fight ended.What a blessing to know that he passed away without suffering as much as he could have with his illness.He did not seem to be in much pain and I knew it was prayers being answered. Daddy had not been able to see or speak for the last few days of his life.For a while on the morning he passed,we were alone and while I was holding his hand he turned his head toward me to say, going home and I love you.I thought he was telling me I needed to go home as I basically  had not left his side since he went into the hospital.Those were the last words he ever spoke.This had to be a gift from Daddy and God as he passed only a few hours later.


This is  a picture of daddy doing what he loved most...farming. This man was my father ,my friend ,and my  teacher.He may not have been a perfect man but he was the perfect daddy for me. Growing up I was blessed with the fact that he and Mom were always home everyday. There were very few days in my life that I was not able to see my dad and talk with him. Watching the way he treated Mom taught me how a husband should treat his wife. Having him as a father showed me how to be a parent to my own son.We were a close family and if there was work to be done on the farm then we all pitched in and helped. He taught me that if you were going to do something then do it right or don't do it.He always told me that there was nothing you could not do if you wanted it bad enough. As a schoolgirl he was my hero, as  I grew older  and I saw his faults  he was still my hero.

After my marriage I still lived by my parents and continued to help them on the farm .If Daddy was working outside ,I was there and if  he saw that I was doing something then  he was there to help me.To be honest no one was able to make me as mad as quickly as he could.LOL! We always spoke our minds,angry or not  and continued to work side by side. There were many times when  I was sick that  I would see him coming across the yard caring  a plate of food for me. He was always here for me and I miss him terribly but I  rejoice in the fact that he is no longer in pain. One of the things I remember most about Daddy was his hands. As a child they seemed so big and as an adult they were so work worn but I always loved his hands.I have seen him catch a wasp to  keep it from stinging me and I have felt those same hands gently wiping my brow while I was feverish.Daddy was as tough as they came and afraid of nothing ,other than a frog.LOL! That one fact has always amazed me ,how could you catch snakes, or a wasp and be afraid of a frog? There were many times in my  life  that Daddy  rescued me from a spider and never told me I should not be afraid of it.

I know that this has been a longish post and may seem sad but I don't mean it that way.I just wanted to give you some history and to introduce you to him. Daddy lived his life in the way he chose and he did what made him happy , not many have that luxury.I choose to remember the good days we had together and not be sad.Even though he may not be here ,I still talk to him daily and feel he is still watching over me.While going through his death ,a close friend  asked me this question ... did you ever wonder why you had him so long? That struck me hard and made me realize that even though he had died I had much to be thankful for in the blessing of having had him so long.Thank you for taking the time to read this post ,and I  hope that you will join me in wishing him a happy birthday. Happy Birthday Daddy! Hugs,Jen

26 comments:

Holly Hills Primitives said...

What a beautiful birthday tribute to your father. I miss my dad so much and not quite enough time has passed to take away the pain, but I'm sure it eventually will. Your dad would be proud! Have a great week, Dawn

Angela said...

Oh Jen, such a sweet and moving post honoring your Dad. Can't you just imagine the celebrations your Dad has daily in heaven? You are so blessed that memories can not be taken away, and we can open them up any time we need to feel the closeness with our loved one. I miss my Dad also, and it's been almost 10 years. Hopeing you find peace today with the fact he is no longer in pain, and you have such love and memories of him today. Bet he is smiling down on his little girl as we talk.
Hugs
Angela

Hillcresthome Prims said...

Jen, that was such a wonderful tribute to your Dad! He sounds like he was a great Husband, Dad, Friend, Uncle.You were and still blessed to have such a wonderful man like your Daddy in your life!
Please remeber he is in a wonderful place with the Lord and is in NO pain! You will see him again.
Tricia

prims by olde lady morgan said...

Oh Jen, such a tough day. I feel for you. I lost my mom to colon cancer that spread to her brain. I thought she was dehydrated when we took her into the hospital. She never spoke again. It was on a Tuesday, she passed away on a Friday morning... Thinking of you and have a most wonderful surprise too!!! You are one of the winners of my giveaway! Email me your info so i can send one of the girls home!!!! OLM!!! folkart94@msn.com

Cat Nap Inn Primitives said...

Jen I am sorry for your loss of a wonderful man you called Daddy..and what a wonderful tribute on "his day"..he is smiling down upon you and knows that you love him dearly..;)

Farmhouse prims said...

Jen, what a wonderful tribute to your daddy. How wonderful to have a father like you had. And I know he is watching your from heaven with a smile on his face. Hugs, Lecia

~Madalynne~ said...

Such a beautiful post Jen. You are truly blessed to have had a father like him ~ as was he to have a daughter who appreciated him.

TheCrankyCrow said...

Lovely post Jen...He sounds like a wonderful man - and very much like my own father. Unfortunately, I did not have enough time with mine - he passed away very young - he was only 45 and I was 15....And you are blessed that his suffering was so short. I wish your daddy a very happy birthday - and you comfort, joy, and peace in your many memories of him. Smiles & Hugs ~ Robin

Linda ★ Parker's Paradise said...

Oh, Jen, I am so sorry for your loss. I know how much I love my Daddy and despite the fact he has early onset dementia, I know he is there for me. He is mostly happy and still tries to keep going. I don't know how Mom will go on without him.
You have written a beautiful homage to your father. It is so good to have our memories, isn't it?
Big hugs for you today.....
★Linda★

Lynn said...

Jen. I am wiping tears as I try to type this. Happy Birthday to your Daddy. I can say you are one lucky lady. God took my Daddy home when I was 18 months old. So, I am sad to say that I do not have any memories of my Daddy. I just have stories that people tell me about my Daddy. My favorite one is when my Mom was pregnant with me and people would ask Daddy what he wanted a boy or a girl? He always told them a red headed baby girl and that is what God gave him-ME! Thanks for sharing your story today and here is a hug cause I know you miss your Daddy like crazy but we will see them again.
Hugs,
Lynn

Ellie's Country Accents said...

Amen, I'm in tears, because I had the same close relationship with my Dad. I lost him from a brain tumor. Always remember, we will be with them again.
Hugs,
Ellie

Courtney said...

First of all, thanks for visiting my blog. As soon as I read your comment I hightailed it over to your blog to see this moving post. I lost my dad when I was six years old. All the things you shared about your father were so moving. And I was especially struck by your friend's question about what if you hadn't had him all these years. I talk to my Dad a lot too. It's funny, because if I talk to him too much...he sends me to God! When you spoke of his last hours it reminded me of my dear, sweet Grammy. I watched her at night while my mom worked. She was in a really bad way the night before she died, but when I left for the night, as clear as day, she said she loved me. I treasure that!
Thanks for sharing so much love about your father. He sounds like he was a wonderful man!
Courtney

Tammy ~ Country Girl at Home ~ said...

Oh Jen,

I'm so sorry you lost your dad. He sounds alot like my daddy. I live next door to my parents and my daddy's always outside tinkering around!

And I do think God allowed your daddy to speak to you and interact with you before he went Home.

This was a beautiful tribute to your dad and what kind of man he was! Beautiful!

Hugs,
Tammy

Ronda said...

Jen,

through my tears I'm searching for the right words to say, nothing can compare to your sadness and joy in the moments you spent writing this to your daddy, this is the most beautiful post I've ever read. God is good and he gives us so many precious moments and memories. Thank you for sharing this most beautiful moment. I can tell your daddy truly loved you!
Hugs and blessings,
~Ronda

Dog Trot Farm said...

Jen, first let me say what a loving tribute to your dear father, I'm sure he would be very proud. I am extremely close to my dad who will this month turn 84. Also, I wanted to thank you for stopping by my blog and taking the time to leave a comment. I have enjoyed my time reading your wonderful blog and I shall return soon. Greetings from Maine, Julie of Dog Trot Farm.

marie said...

What a sweet tribute to your Dad. Thank you so much for sharing your memories with us ~ it sure sounds like you have some very special ones!

Bee Lady said...

Happy Birthday Jen's Dad. I think this is a wonderful story. There are so few of us fortunate enough to be able to tell stories like this anymore.

Cindy Bee

Kerin said...

Sounds like you all were very blessed to have a great man like your Dad in your lives! Thanks for sharing your memories with us.
Isn't it wonderful to know that you will see him again, and what a sweet reunion that will be!

Margaret said...

What a loving tribute. I had a Daddy just like that only mine wasn't a farmer but a loving Dad and a hero to me. He died suddenly of a very rare cancer--bile duct cancer. He had been a strong and healthy man but he was diagnosed and dead within 5 months. I was 7 months pregnant with CAitlin when he passed, and I miss him soo much. Your Dad knows you love him and I know mine does too. HUGS to you, sweet, sweet lady.

A Primitive Homestead said...

In this post as I read your memories of your wonderful father I could tell you loved him much & miss him so. Sending you a hug on his special day as you honor his life. Blessings!
Lara

mrssmith07 said...

Jen...your Daddy seems to have been the perfect man to teach you many lessons of life...I would say he is the one who made you who you are today!!
This was so sweet to read...even though it did bring tears to my eyes...I know you miss him dearly...hold on to those precious memories tight...I am sure he smiles down on you daily!!

HUGS my friend!!

Rox

Paula said...

Welp, I'm crying now....
What a beautiful tribute to your Father, Jen~ he sounds so much like my daddy. (Whom I'm grateful to still have with me.)
I had to chuckle over the part about how mad he could make you~ I can totally relate to that. And my mother, rest her soul, always poured salt in the wound by saying, "well, that's not surprising~ you two are just alike!"
*grin*

OldeAnniePrimitives said...

Hi Jen...I loved reading your beautiful post and tribute to your daddy. You were so fortunate to have had him and I know you must miss him tremendously! I lost my dad when I was only 8 years old and never got to experience having him in my life. I WAS fortunate enough to have 6 older brothers who tried to fill that void, and a wonderful loving mother who was always there for me. My mom was about the same age as your dad when I lost her, and I still miss her so badly.

Thank you for sharing such beautiful memories with us! ~~Annie

Trace4J said...

Giant Hug to you friend. What a lucky girl you were to have such a WONDERFUL DAD! You were blessed.
hugs Trace
www.grannytracescrapsandsquares.com

Primitives By The Light of The Moon said...

Such a wonderful post and love that you have so many great memories of your dad....such a blessing!

~The Boyd Homestead Farm~ said...

What a touching post for your dad and I'm sending many hugs to you! My dad had a brain tumor too, we didn't know it until he fell in the shower and couldn't get back up on his own. He went in for an MRI in September 1988, had the tumor removed in that week, but never fully recovered as the cancer had spread to his blood and he suddenly passed away in the November 1988, just 24 days shy of his 60 th birthday. I was only 17 at the time and was going through the horrible teen years but I sure do regret how I was back than and I miss him every single day. I keep the good memories alive and laugh at them all. My kids who never got to meet him get to hear so many silly stories, lol. Anyhow, thinking of you at this time and keeping you in my prayers,
Hugs, Trish